Brighter day...

Mother & daughter (source)

My mood has shifted dramatically in the last few days. I am feeling positively chipper today! Pretty sure this shift has happened because we have had a really wonderful Christmas break followed by Molly's 4th birthday party at our place yesterday.

It has been so nice to be surrounded by family and friends who we love and who love and support us so well. My mother is on annual leave until January 10th and we have already spent more time together in the last few days than we have in a very long time. I really need that right now. To feel completely myself and comfortable with another woman who knows me so well.

I met with my midwife this morning and mum was able to attend the appointment with me. It was really nice to see how quietly excited and proud she is to be involved in this process. During the appointment we spoke about my good glucose challenge results (yay body! you rock!) and the need to continue eating really well for the remainder of the pregnancy. I expressed how glad I am that the Christmas period is over and I can get back to some kind of food routine. I don't think I am the only one who feels like this. We also discussed some practical stuff around the birth pool and what supplies to have ready for the birth and about what factors may lead to a decision to transfer to hospital for the birth. I feel really good about this and am confident that we will work really well together and make the best decisions we can at the time.

I was right about baby's position.. head down, back on my left.. anterior (at the time she palpated my belly). It's nice to know I can trust what I am feeling. I don't think I had a clue last time and just trusted the midwife's guess.  For the record, my BP is a little up from last time 130/80 but still in a normal range. Babe's heart rate is 152bpm. Belly is right where it should be for size and my midwife said the baby feels just the right size for gestation. Not too big! :)

All good to hear!!

After the appointment I enjoyed a bbq steak and salad at mum's place before heading to the shops on my own to get some groceries. This sounds like a pretty boring way to spend the afternoon however for me, some mama time followed by alone time (no matter what the activity) is just perfect. Planning to make a yummy pumpkin, lentil and zucchini soup for dinner. But before that, I think I'll take a nap! What a nice day!

I hope your post-Christmas period is as nice as mine is turning out to be!

xo

29 week update and a bit of a rant!

I am getting so many braxton hicks contractions at the moment. Baby Carr is so active and the movements cause these "practice" contractions and they really take my breath away. They are not painful at all but I do have to stop and concentrate on them at times. I am hoping this will get me all primed and ready to go into spontaneous labour before 42 weeks gestation.

I am happy to be patient and wait for baby to come when he/she is ready this time, however I do really hope things start before 42 weeks. If baby does wait that long I will be having regular monitoring to ensure babe & I are healthy and well and, assuming all is fine, we will be waiting for baby to arrive in his or her own time.

At around 20 weeks (when others were having anomaly scans which we chose to avoid) I was beginning to wish we knew the sex of our baby. Other's started talking about their babies using "him" or "her" and I began feeling that it would be kind of nice to be able to speak in a more familiar way about our little one. But having made the decision a long time ago (after reading many articles suggesting that ultrasounds may not be as safe for baby as is commonly thought) to avoid unnecessary scans, we were stuck not knowing whether I was growing a little boy or another little girl.

I can happily say that I am so glad we don't know. I am a believer that there are not many true surprises in life and this is something that we feel will add to the experience of birthing this baby. We didn't know with Molly either. I am getting so excited about giving birth and welcoming a new life earthside to join our family. Molly can't wait and is beginning to feel impatient about when babe will arrive.

For the record, my hunch is that it is a boy and that I will come into labour on March 5th 2011. It will probably be wrong but I thought it was worth recording in case I am right!

My feelings about the birth itself swing between a serene sense of calm anticipation to a little bit of panic and anxiety about how I am going to handle the pain. I have a good understanding of the physiology of birth and the way hormones interact to assist a mother to naturally manage the pain however I only have a medical induction to compare it to... the induction was absolutely awful and I did not cope at all. I know from hearing stories and reading lots of information that a chemically induced labour is vastly different to one in which the woman comes into labour spontaneously and goes on to feel safe and supported through her labour and birth without stimulus to bring her out of "the zone" and affect the steady release of oxytocin.

Something that eases my mind about these fears is that I have made plans to give me the best chance possible of being able to have this kind of birth. I am birthing at home as long as baby & I remain well, I have an independent midwife who I really like and respect (and more importantly, she respects me and my choices), my support people (John and Mum) are on board and agree with my choice to birth at home, I am keeping well and healthy and I am staying out of the hospital system unless there is a medical need for me to enter it.

The number one factor influencing how you birth is your choice of care provider (should you choose to have one). If you have a care provider (Ob) with a high caesarian rate or a high episiotomy rate, you are likely to be an addition to their statistics. On the flip side, if you hire a midwife who usually sits in the other room knitting or reading and allowing the mother to do the work of bringing a baby earthside in privacy, you will probably have this kind of experience yourself.

What I am saying, is DO YOUR RESEARCH! And choose the care provider who fits with your own birth philosophy. If your philosophy does not match that of your care provider, you will find yourself fighting your way through the whole experience- this is NOT what a birthing woman needs.

If you want a VBAC, find the care provider who has the most experience and the best stats in supporting women to achieve this.

You are the CEO of your body and of your birth. YOU make the decisions. Just let them be well informed decisions..

Retreating inward...

I had a lovely time sharing sandwiches and chatting with my midwife today. I visited thinking there would be other mothers there for the fortnightly mother-baby support group that is run from my midwife's house, however, for whatever reason I was the only one who went! So the afternoon looked a little different to how it usually does!

After a free-flowing discussion on a range of topics including a recent surprise twin birth that my midwife attended, personal vulnerability (and for that to be seen), aspects of our faith journeys, aspects of parenting (instilling responsibility and accountability without fear) and other things, it came up that I am feeling a great desire to "go inward". That for the first time since being in my job, I am starting to lose my patience with clients (in my head- no one would have any idea) and I have less and less emotional energy to deal with things that come up outside the comfort and protective bubble of family. I cannot think critically and respond in a methodical and measured way like I usually can.  The fortnightly staff meeting that I enjoy attending due to the fact that it is a great connection point between the weekend staff members and weekday staff, is becoming a real drag... It's not that anything has changed. I love my job. But the passion and spark that I usually have is dull. I just want to be with my loved ones.

This is ok. This is good.

Joy and I discussed how this is a natural "nesting" response in preparing to bring another new life into our family. To draw the closest closer and to create some distance between the family bubble and the ones who aren't and shouldn't be closely involved during this time.

It doesn't make me a bad social worker, a bad friend or a bad Christian... it makes me a mother.

14 weeks pregnant

I haven't been around for a while as I have no working computer at home and I find it too hard trying to post and read on my iphone.. just too tiny!

Anyway. I think I am around 14 weeks pregnant and am feeling fantastic. General tiredness most of the time but the "hung over" feeling has lifted and I am starting to really enjoy being pregnant. I have no bump yet to speak of, just a thicker waist and a bit more padding around my bum & thighs. I think I actually showed earlier with my daughter.. I guess every pregnancy is different and the differences are part of what makes the whole thing a special new experience!

I had a bit of a stress out a couple of weeks ago when I had two "bleeds". Both were brown and both happened while I was sleeping. It was very strange and it worried me enough that I decided to have an ultrasound to see that everything was ok.. It was fine, and the sonographer could not find any sign of where the bleeding came from. I am guessing it was old trapped blood that for whatever reason, escaped on those two occasions. I have no reason to have any more ultrasounds but I felt that I made the right decision to do so in this instance. My midwife doesn't encourage any ultrasounds except if there is a concern for the wellbeing of the baby so she supported me in my decision.

I am loving the difference in having this midwife work for me this time. Last time, I had my prenatal care and "birth" in a hospital and every visit I was poked and prodded. This time, my midwife took my blood pressure and said there was really no need for her to feel my belly yet as it may not have popped over my pubic bone yet. We chatted for an hour about how I was feeling and she spent time getting to know my husband. Cups of tea and a nice chat was what the whole thing really amounted to. This suits me just fine.

My midwife also asked me what I plan to do if I go past my due date like I did with Molly. I said I would be happy to have monitoring to see that the baby is fine but I would like to just wait to go into labour spontaneously. Last time I was induced at 3cm dilated! So Molly would have been coming earthside in just days. I asked for her suggestions for natural methods to encourage labour to start and she suggested the "baby dance"- where you stimulate your nipples while you "dance" and swirl your hips around. She also said all the usual things like long walks, lots of sex, deep squatting (after 38 weeks), being generally active. But when it comes down to it, baby will come when baby is ready to come. She is comfortable to monitor the baby and not do anything unless there is an indication that the baby is not happy. I am quite relieved to hear this as I was concerned that there would be pressure even though I have hired my own midwife.

I weighed myself this morning after freaking out that I may have already gained 10kg (that's how I feel for the record!) and I was pleasantly surprised to see that I have gained only 3kgs in 14 weeks of pregnancy. Do you know how good this feels??!! In the past I have been known to gain 5kg in a week! This just further proves that one CAN actually change and maintaining weight loss is hard but not impossible. I am guessing my feeling of heaviness is probably fluid retention. That's easy to fix- lots of veggies and water and go easy on the wheat. It works for me.

Please leave a comment if you come and paruse my blog. I haven't been a regular poster recently but I am feeling a little alone in blog world these days! So say hi! :)

This weeks goals.
- Get some exercise every day
- Unprocessed foods
- Pack my "doula bag" for my sister in law's birth
- Do my tax!! Do it dammit!
- Meditation CD
- Set up a Smart Piggy savings account to save for midwife costs
- Get a haircut

Poor Danni at the centre of another round of homebirth slamming..

After reading the drivel published in The Herald Sun around Danni Minogue's apparently reckless attempt to birth her baby at home I am left feeling so enraged and very very frustrated. I'm not shocked- the very ill informed opinion writer S. O'Brien doesn't shock me any more- I have read enough of her un-researched opinion to expect to read rubbish from her when I occasionally paruse The Sun (if others are already reading the quality publications) while waiting for my coffee at my local cafe.

What is missing from many articles is the statistical information about the safety of birthing at home with a trusted midwife. It's not that hard to find. You can GOOGLE it! It doesn't take expert investigative journalism to find out- just a little effort. But you know what? These "journalists" do not want to read the facts. If you are healthy and low risk, home is a safe place to birth your baby. For the record, here's a little bit of investigative journalism of my own:

The Netherlands Study 2009: Homebirth Safety
Click the attachment at the bottom of the article to see the study information.
The largest study in the world confirms that homebirth is safe.
Over three hundred thousand women had planned homebirths with midwives in this study, proving that homebirth IS safe. The conclusion to the study "shows that planning a homebirth does not increase the risks of perinatal mortality and severe perinatal morbidity among low-risk women".

Danni Minogue was portrayed in such a negative light and made to look like she would put her baby's and her own life at risk by choosing to birth at home. We are not seeing anyone give the appropriate praise to her independent midwife who clearly made the resposible call to get Danni transferred to hospital when it became medically necesarry. This was not a bad outcome for a homebirth. It was a very very good one! It is further proof that homebirth is a safe option as you receive expert care by a trained midwife who knows when complications arise! If she had not needed to transfer I wonder if there would be such media hype? Maybe we would not know about it yet? Maybe Danni would have had the opportunity to let the world know on her family's terms and in their own time?

What scares me is that other's read the Herald Sun and feel they are reading accurate journalism. Someone's sensationalist, violating and insulting opinion of a private and personal event in the life of another woman is not journalism- it's catty trash.

Shame!

First appointment with my midwife

On Wednesday morning Molly and I made the trek across town to visit my midwife for my initial consultation. This is a meeting designed to help the mother get to know her possible future care provider and to think about whether this is the right fit for the mother.

I can happily say that I connected right away with Joy Johnston and feel very pleased that she will be journeying with me as I progress through the pregnancy and as we plan for this birth. Joy was very respectful of Molly and had a room full of interesting things for her to play with. She has grandchildren of her own and the place is kid friendly. I may not take her to the next appointment though as she was starting to get a bit restless toward the end. Joy and I had a long casual chat about my experience with Molly's birth, any concerns I have, any questions I had about the way she does things. She gave me a few handy fact sheets about different aspects of homebirth/bonding/stages of labour etc which will be handy if any friends or family are asking me questions about my reasons for choosing to birth at home. I will be booked in to the Royal Women's as a backup hospital as they are apparently really accomodating if a woman needs to transfer.

Joy answered my questions around what she could do in case of emergency- for bleeding after birth she carries the same sometimes lifesaving drugs that are available in the hospital but only uses them if there appears to be a problem as opposed to managing the third stage of labour which is routine in hospital. She also carries a full resus kit in case the baby needs help breathing. Basically most things they could do in hospital short of a caesarian section, she could do in case of an emergency. She has been assisting women to birth their babies since the early 1970s and is well trained to pick up any problems should they arise and has no hesitation to tansfer to hospital should it prove needed.

I feel very pleased with my choice in care provider and am lucky to have found someone who I connect with so quickly. Please visit her blog in my sidebar "The Village Midwife".