Sunday, 19 February 2012

Weighty issues..

I almost can't believe I still need to blog about this stuff. I mean, I have been at my ideal weight (prior to pregnancy) and maintained it for over a year. Yet here I am once again not really knowing how to do what I need to do to feel awesome and healthy... When I say I don't know how to do it, I guess know it's not really true. I know what I need to to. Actually doing it is another matter. 

Right now I feel fat, a little frumpy, intermittently sad/down in the dumps and very very unfit. I am also acutely aware that most of these things are my own fault. I have not prioritised my health and as a result I have ended up staring up from the bottom of the hole I have dug myself into... I know I can change this because I have done it before. I know all my own excuses because I have heard them come out of my friends mouths at times when they were not in control of their lives. I have challenged them on these excuses and pretty much told them to make a plan to succeed and just do what it takes to get there. Yup.. I've said those things... And now I am saying them to myself.

"If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results"- Jack Dixon

So right now I am going to remind myself of the things that have worked for me in the past in an attempt to figure out a way to replicate those things and begin to feel better. I want to be more in control of my life. 

Things I know:
1. I love weight training. It makes me feel like a freaking fitness queen and gets me great curvaceous results.

2. I need regular high intensity training. I hate running but when I do it I also get great results. Other classes like RPM are fun and give me the variety I need to keep interested.

3. My body does not handle lots of carbs. I have polycystic ovaries and some PCOS symptoms and eating a carb-loaded diet makes me crazy. My moods are affected and I just want to continue to binge on sugar and refined starchy foods. 

4. Planning my meals ahead of time helps me to feel in control and stops me from making poor decisions in the heat of hunger. 

5. I feel good when each meal contains a good balance of protein, low gi carbs and lots of fresh salad and veggies. I also know that nuts and flax seeds fill me up and keep me from wanting foods that make me crazy.

6. Fresh juices are the bomb and make me feel like I am drinking liquid sunshine/rainbows/vitamins... whatever.. I just know that I feel amazing when I drink green veggie juices daily. 

7. I like to be surrounded by other people who face the same kind of struggles BUT who are achieving great results. I draw strength from other's success and I feel great sharing my own experiences from others.

8. I need to schedule in intentional exercise and make it non-negotiable. Otherwise it will not happen.

9. I need to get my hormones checked because I feel greatly influenced by them and it doesn't feel quite right.

I am going to leave it at nine points just to annoy all of you OCD type people. 

Now I need to make a more detailed plan... back soon.



Secret Agent Awesome! said...

I just did a big sigh. I just wish weight wasn't such a huge disappointment in my life. I've spent the last 7 years trying to lose but only put weight on. I do not know what to do. I never got to finish that book either :(

Ashwee said...

Maybe we both need to invest in our minds/spirits/psyche and get ourselves some psychological help.. Sometimes I think I'd be ok if I could just hire a personal trainer & psychologist. But I know that's also a cop out..

Kek said...

I think every one of your points applies to pretty much everyone, Ash.

Once you have nutrition on track and get back into doing regular exercise you might find that your hormones balance themselves out. They're greatly influenced by what we eat, how much body fat we have and whether we move our bodies regularly. I know mine go nuts if I let my lifestyle get out of control - and then things get pretty ugly.

Ashwee said...

That's so true Kerryn. It's just getting to the point where I have made enough changes for it to affect me positively that is the challenge. I feel pretty rotten right now. Can't wait to feel better.

philippa_moore said...

((hugs)) The journey never ends Ash - and we can only work on where we are right now. You have the tools and the know how and the drive to do it. I know it must be hard as a busy, dedicated mum but making time to nourish yourself and do things that make you feel good is so important. I have never had anything but the utmost faith in you. If you had any idea how inspiring you are....I know you can do it. And I'm always here for you xxx

Ashwee said...

Thanks Phil. I hit a low yesterday. As they say though, you sometimes need to hit the bottom before you can bounce back up.

I know I've inspired lots of people along the way. I'm always aware of that. In the past this has made me feel guilty and watched when I have gained weight. With the passing of time and a little more maturity I now realise that all this proves is that I am human and therefore sharing all the parts of my story can still inspire and encourage people. It makes me feel better knowing this. It nudges me out of my hiding place.

I so appreciate your support Phil!


Kathryn said...

I really hope you get back into your groove again soon. I'm sure you will!! you have done fantastically well in the past, quite inspiring! I've got PCOS as well and I've been doing the low carb thing for 6 weeks now plus gradually building up my exercise. I've lost 9kgs so far and I couldn't be happier. I feel great :)

cranky said...

Look at what is actually going ON in your life Ash! You are raising THREE kids and have had massive changes! Be kind and gentle to yourself...that's the only way. Be determined, yes, be proactive, yes...but most important be KIND and congratulate yourself on the things you do well.

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